Our friend Darlene recently sent us an interesting article about a guy who went back to engineering after an extended period of travel. Sound familiar? I've done this a couple times now.
The article starts with how, as soon as he started making good money again, this guy named David was more careless with it. And, how spending that money now is somehow less satisfying than it was when he had less money and more time (e.g., an expensive coffee-to-go vs. a coffee savored slowly on a sunny balcony in some gorgeous locale). Where it gets interesting -- and eerily similar to how I've often felt -- is when he states how and why this occurs. Starting with how "a lifestyle of unnecessary spending has been deliberately cultivated and nurtured in the public by big business," this guy talks about how the 40-hr (or more) workweek is designed to leave us with precious little time -- evenings and weekends -- and how that inspires us to spend a lot on gratification in the way of convenience and entertainment. In short: we work too much, so we're entitled to buy "stuff" (and deserve to watch more television to "unwind" -- and get exposed to more adverts that encourage us to buy more "stuff").
Anyway, Erin and I read this article and had a long chat about it. We both work. We both don't have as much time as we like to. And we both feel that we "deserve" indulgences -- a massage, a new pair of shoes, a sweet bike. Try as we might to shirk it, there it is -- this feeling that we've worked hard enough to be entitled to buy something that will somehow make us happier, better people.
Well, we've vowed not to buy stuff in 2013. So then what? How do we reward ourselves when we can't go out and make purchases? What we've come up with is trying to exchange THING-rewards with ACTIVITY-rewards (or perhaps more accurately, NO-ACTIVITY-rewards -- because doing nothing is nice sometimes, too).
We still go out to eat occasionally. We go to a lot of concerts. We still do drinks with friends. But, where once we may have hopped in the car to drive somewhere or gone out to do some shopping, now we go for a run or take a nice long walk in the city. Or we stop in somewhere for a coffee and have a relaxing, figuring-out-life chat (we've outlawed coffees to go, but still indulge provided we sit and enjoy the experience). Or we plan an afternoon or evening with friends that pretty much guarantees that someone's spent a couple hours preparing a nice, home-cooked meal. Other rewards include doing things for each other to express our love or to help unwind after a long day/week (vs. material gifts meant for the same purpose).
This is the sort of "stuff" that we really deserve.
Of course, seeing a shiny new book or a nice pair of jeans will continue to inspire some materialistic lust -- and serve as a reminder that the battle can't be won in a day.
The article starts with how, as soon as he started making good money again, this guy named David was more careless with it. And, how spending that money now is somehow less satisfying than it was when he had less money and more time (e.g., an expensive coffee-to-go vs. a coffee savored slowly on a sunny balcony in some gorgeous locale). Where it gets interesting -- and eerily similar to how I've often felt -- is when he states how and why this occurs. Starting with how "a lifestyle of unnecessary spending has been deliberately cultivated and nurtured in the public by big business," this guy talks about how the 40-hr (or more) workweek is designed to leave us with precious little time -- evenings and weekends -- and how that inspires us to spend a lot on gratification in the way of convenience and entertainment. In short: we work too much, so we're entitled to buy "stuff" (and deserve to watch more television to "unwind" -- and get exposed to more adverts that encourage us to buy more "stuff").
Anyway, Erin and I read this article and had a long chat about it. We both work. We both don't have as much time as we like to. And we both feel that we "deserve" indulgences -- a massage, a new pair of shoes, a sweet bike. Try as we might to shirk it, there it is -- this feeling that we've worked hard enough to be entitled to buy something that will somehow make us happier, better people.
Well, we've vowed not to buy stuff in 2013. So then what? How do we reward ourselves when we can't go out and make purchases? What we've come up with is trying to exchange THING-rewards with ACTIVITY-rewards (or perhaps more accurately, NO-ACTIVITY-rewards -- because doing nothing is nice sometimes, too).
We still go out to eat occasionally. We go to a lot of concerts. We still do drinks with friends. But, where once we may have hopped in the car to drive somewhere or gone out to do some shopping, now we go for a run or take a nice long walk in the city. Or we stop in somewhere for a coffee and have a relaxing, figuring-out-life chat (we've outlawed coffees to go, but still indulge provided we sit and enjoy the experience). Or we plan an afternoon or evening with friends that pretty much guarantees that someone's spent a couple hours preparing a nice, home-cooked meal. Other rewards include doing things for each other to express our love or to help unwind after a long day/week (vs. material gifts meant for the same purpose).
This is the sort of "stuff" that we really deserve.
Of course, seeing a shiny new book or a nice pair of jeans will continue to inspire some materialistic lust -- and serve as a reminder that the battle can't be won in a day.
